Petina Gappah and the Imposter Syndrome

It’s finally here. Petina Gappah has finally published her first novel The Book of Memory. I am so excited! So just imagine my disappointment when I tried to buy the Kindle edition of the book earlier today only to discover it will not be available in America until February 2nd, 2016. That’s a long time to wait, but I will wait. Because Gappah is always worth the wait and frankly, I can’t afford to buy the book from the UK at this moment in time.

Anyway, to make time go by faster as I wait, I’ve been trawling the internet for the various interviews that Gappah has done for the book. In all of them, she’s asked the same question. Why did it take six years for the book to come out? And her answer is imposter syndrome.

In an interview with Lauren Beukes at the Open Book Festival in Cape Town, Gappah said “It’s a wonderful thing to win awards, but the prize was completely unexpected, and it feels like overnight you are a different person. People are looking at you with a slightly more critical eye, and despite the fact that the reviews were very positive I felt that I had conned everyone, and that they would soon find me out. There’s a phrase that’s funny but it’s horrible, one-hit wonder. I was terrified of being a one-hit wonder. All feels well, your book is selling, but privately you are going through a terrible time and you are doubting yourself.”

It’s quite heartening to know that someone this talented has doubts about their abilities to consistently create good stuff. It makes me feel better about my own doubts. Doubts seem to be a frequent companion to writers (and everybody else really) and maybe trying to get rid of them isn’t the easiest thing to do. Perhaps it would be better to accept their existence and still create despite the doubts.

And here is my absolute favorite quote from the Beukes interview.

“What I’ve given myself as a mission statement is to explore Zimbabwe in its complexity, and to explore the multiple factors and identities that make up Zimbabwe. That’s what I’m interested in. I’m not interested in presenting a cookie cutter version of what it is like to be an African writer. I’m interested in exploring the different ways of being a Zimbabwean.”

Can I just copy/paste this into my artist’s statement? This is exactly what I’m trying to do. And I love that she calls it a mission statement.

And here‘s a link to an interview with BBC Radio 4.

 

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