Blog Tagline on 1 January 2013: This skin and bones is a rental; no one makes it out alive.
Blog Tagline on 31 December 2013: The Growth of a Writer’s mind
The whole story of my last year can be told in the simple change between these two taglines. It was a year in which I stopped telling myself to follow my unnamed dreams. I finally gained the courage to say out loud that I am a writer. I went past imagining how awesome it would be a published author, and actually started working towards the dream.
Not enrolling in a writing course in the spring semester forced me to abandon the box of writing prompts. The sight of a blank piece of paper waiting for my ideas left me afraid, but by committing to putting down 500 words a day every day, I overcame my fear. By accepting that there is no perfect, just potential, I stopped denigrating myself for not being as good a writer as I wanted to be, and instead started putting in the hard work to improve. There is no shortcut to success, just hard work.
Whenever I started to lose steam, something would happen to remind me that there is no time to waste. I graduated college this year, five years after finishing high school. Sometimes high school feels like it was a lifetime ago. How did five years go by so fast? Days pass by slowly but years seems to speed along. There is no time for “Ndicha-” or “Tomorrow, I will…”.
And that’s why in September I disappeared from the blog, only to resurface now. I spent those three months making sure I graduated and applying to MFA programs for creative writing. There is a very high chance that I will not get in, but I did it because I knew that it was something I wanted to do in this lifetime, and life is too uncertain to defer dreams. However, whatever the outcome, I will keep on writing.
So am I crazy for giving this writing thing a real go? Am I delusional for thinking that I’m going to be the exception when so many writers face disappointment? Am I foolish for not picking a more stable career like medicine or law? I don’t know, but what I learnt in Church the other day was that everyone in the Bible who we consider brave now looked foolish before they looked right. Moses looked foolish staring at the Red Sea with the Egyptians bearing down on the Israelites with just a stick to part the sea. Peter looked foolish stepping out of the boat to walk on water to Jesus. What got them through was faith and faith is what I have.
One last thought on the taglines though. The tagline may have changed to reflect clearer goals, but the words are still not my own. Here is to 2014 being the year I start to own my writing voice and here is hoping that you own your voice in whatever you do.