I graduate in just over 6 months and at the start of this semester I decided that my big project for my final year of college would be an Honors Thesis. I’m a creative writing major, so of course I picked a creative project for my thesis. Initially I decided I would write three stories with the same protagonist, but I really liked the character and felt like he deserved more space to express himself. So I decided I would write a novella. One month and three hundred words later, I’m throwing in the towel on the novella. If it was the only thing I had to do, I would continue, but with all my other classes, work and the hours I spend worrying about what I am going to do about the future, there is just no time to do it. And writing a novella is proving to be a lot harder than I ever imagines. So now I’m back to the three short stories except each one has a different protagonist.
So why am I writing all this? I’m procrastinating. I’ve become quite an expert at this the last couple of months. I am great at convincing myself that I am getting things done when I’m actually not doing anything productive at all. I spend hours trawling the internet on opportunities for after graduation, but really what I’m doing is postponing making a decision. I spend hours reading short stories by various Zimbabwean writers and journal articles in the name of research but I’m actually just running away from the blank page that I have to fill with a story.
Indecisiveness has become my crutch. But no longer. Tonight I am making the decision to start. I can’t keep hiding from my project forever. Time is not on my side. So here goes. Wish me luck!